CRIPES! Welcome to my little corner of the interweb
Sweet, huh? So anyway...here was my job...dump THESE cans of very smelly oil-based products
"Rainbow of Death"
into this 55 gallon drum
After two hours of this fun, I guarantee I had plenty of material for this blog. Most of it I have forgotten because I didn't have a pen and paper handy in my "office" (gross bucket). The one idea I DO remember is that I need to use that picture of me in the safety equipment to sign up for one of those online dating sites. It would go something............a-like this:
Hello ladies, are you looking for a dangerous man who lives life on the edge? Well, just take a look at what I wore to work today. I've been playing with oils all day long and I'm needing a partner who can handle my manly aroma. As you can see, I practice safety...so no problem there. If you are interested, I am dressed in rubber from head to toe and I am completely lubed up. Serious offers only, please.
Bap of the Day:
Today after work, I decided to go pick up some lunch. To protect the innocent, I will not say what establishment I went to, but it did involve southern fried poultry. I'm going to tell you right now that I was in the restaraunt for 30 damn minutes and all I did was stand in line and wait for food. I'm not going to say that the two fellas working up front were complete idiots, because that would be mean. But these two were a pair. Now, I'm not going to say that they resembled a pairing of the missing link and Igor, because that would be an ignorant thing for me to say. Labeling them Hairy and Gimpy wouldn't be the most sensitive thing to call them, so we'll just call them Timmy and Kurt. Timmy is one hairy little fella who's look can only be described as "Sasquachian". This dude is a fan of hair. He likes to display his love by sporting a ponytail down to the middle of his back, a line of 3 inch long hair that has been cultivated to span from the top of his chin to the top of his adam's apple and finally the crusty little mustache. Now, you would thing that a man with a love of hair like this would have an equal love of haircare products...but not our Timmy. This guy looks like he's been going on a shampoo strike that would make even Ghandi stand up and applaud. Kurt, on the other hand was clean shaven with hair that only reached the base of his neck. Kurt, however had a problem that is a little more difficult to solve that just simply buying a razor and some Herbal Essences. Kurt had a strong limp, which isn't something to poke fun at, so I won't. But seriously, this was a good limp. It's a limp that would make Quasimodo stand up and applaud. One person who wasn't applauding today, however was this patron of this particular establishment. When I showed up, there were probably 4 or 5 people ahead of me in line. After about 10 minutes there were about 3 or 4 people ahead of me. At this point, I was well aware of the efficiency (or lack thereof) of the Kurt and Timmy alliance so I started widdling down my order so I could give them a list of food that would minimize confusion as well as my waiting time. Finally, when I get to the front of the line, Hairball just looks at me. No hi, no welcome, no sorry about my offensive face, just a blank stare. So after an akward second I say "2 KFC Snackers to go, please." uh, I mean "2 southern fried poultry Snackers to go, please." And what was Grizzly Adams's response? "For here or to go". Wow. Um, yah.
So we end up getting that sitch' figured out and now I'm playing the waiting game. My order number is 342. So I wait, and wait, and wait a little more while they both limp around greasin up the restaurant, and I hear 340, then 341, then 343, then 344. AAAAH CRIPES! FIIIINALLY I see my snackers come out of the hands of the cook. Now, I'm not gonna say that he was Mexican, because that would just be a terrible sterotype, but this this fella had a real good base tan and decided to take 20 freakin minutes to cook two damn chicken sangwiches. So, Bap of the Day goes to the Colonel....I mean, the proprietor of this southern fried poultry establishment.
More to Come.
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